You Know You're in D.C. When...

1. People just call the city "DC"

2. The government closes schools because there is a 40% CHANCE of snow (That is if they aren't already closed to fix the roofs)

3. Everyone calls the 10 inches of snow in 1996 "THE GREAT BLIZZARD"

4. All the people on the city board know the mayor from their time in Lorton prison together

5. There are 15 main ways out of the city onto the highwaybut no signs to say where they are

6. Drivers pick up strangers at bus stops so that they can drive in the HOV during rush hour.

7. You spend 2 hours to find a parking space and it's for "One Hour Only"

8. The road you are on is suddenly interrupted by a building.

9. People give directions by how long it will take to get to the destination at different times of the day.

10. The weather man declares the weather is suddenly a cool 89 degrees with only 90% humidity and you are happy.

11. Diplomat plates bring on anxiety attacks.

12. The weatherman calls for 2 inches of snow and you have to rush to the grocery store to buy diapers, milk, bread, and toilet paper...and you don't even have a baby.

13. You watch the World/National News to find out what to do this weekend.

14. You race for the elevator.

15. You dream of moving to the suburbs only to look out the window of your $300,000 house directly into your neighbor's window 4 feet away.

16. Nobody you know actually makes anything.

17. Most of your friends want to become "independent consultants" (or already are)

18. All of your friends are either:

a. Lawyers

b. Techies

c. Work for some gov't organization with a short abbreviation(i.e. IRS,DOD,DOE, FAA, EPA....you get the idea)

d. Work "for the Pentagon" or "on the Hill" or for "the White House" (i.e.they work for a location, but not for anyone)

19. Knowing somebody that can get you into an embassy, the White House, or congressional party is a status symbol.

20. People talk in acronyms and they actually understand each other.

21. When you ask someone what they do for a living they respond "I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." And they're serious.

22. You can spend every weekend going to free things, with all the billion other people who had the same idea.

23. You stop someone on the street to ask for directions, and 75% of the time they say "Oh sorry, I'm just visiting".